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Hostwinds For The New Year: Humorous New Year’s Resolutions From Various Hostwinds Team Members Featured Image

Hostwinds For The New Year: Humorous New Year’s Resolutions From Various Hostwinds Team Members

by: Hostwinds Team  /  January 5, 2019

We're five days into 2019, and the Hostwinds Family is proud to report that we have been keeping our New Year's resolutions. In the spirit of honesty and fun, we thought it would encourage you to share our New Year's resolutions with you.

SPOILER ALERT: Most are a touch on the silly side.

MORE ACCURATE SPOILER ALERT: They are all extremely silly (except one).

Really Riveting Resolutions

A quick New Year's resolution from yours truly seems to be the appropriate way to kick of the Hostwinds Team's resolution list. I resolve to get to the point faster in these blog posts, and I resolve not to "beat around the bush," so to speak, when it comes to getting to the topic at hand. With that in mind, here are the team's New Year's resolutions:

Let's start with the one and only serious resolution from Hostwinds' Director of Front-Line Operations: "I am completely determined to improve our support on every level in 2019."

Impressive and admirable! Now, for some Hostwinds staff comical intentions:

"My new year's resolution is to make a new year's resolution…_tomorrow_**"**

"I resolve to resolve resolutions resolutely."

"I resolve to scream STOP!…HAMMER TIME at least once per day."

"DNS is my favorite resolution idea."

"I resolve to keep my head in the cloud….portal as much as possible in 2019 (get it? Like, 'keep my head in the clouds,' but instead of 'clouds,' I changed it to 'cloud portal'…as in the Hostwinds Cloud Portal?)."

I bet you could guess which Hostwinds staff member wrote that one. It was ME! Another one of my New Year's resolutions comes in the form of a modified quote. Maybe you'll recognize it. It goes like this:

(*Musical Notes*) "Just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, writing, writing…


Did you guess who I am semi-quoting there? If you enjoy animated films as much as I do, you for sure know I am quoting DORI FROM DISNEY'S FINDING NEMO! Hey, Ellen Degeneres (who is the voice of Dori in Disney's Finding Nemo), YOU ARE A MAGICAL GENIUS, AND YOU LIGHT UP EVERYONE'S LIVES WITH YOUR EXISTENCE!

Oh, also, maybe my New Year's Resolution should be to stop constantly quoting music lyrics…but it won't! Okay, back to other staff resolutions:

"I resolve to harness my chi."

"I resolve to lookup more fancy words, so I sound smarter."

"I resolve to say 'No, thank you, I am a vegetarian' whenever someone tries to hand me their baby."

"I resolve to wash out and dry ALL of my recyclables."

One more resolution from yours truly before we sign off: I resolve to come up with a bunch of the longest, most randomly hilarious alliterations in human history within 2019…Tester alliteration: Erin's Embarrassingly Enthusiastic & Effervescent Establishment of Enlarged & Everlasting Evidence of Endless English…Alliterations. Aww, I was so close…yet so far! I'll keep practicing.

P.S. Hostwinds Director of Front-Line Operation's response to that resolution was simply saying no words and putting both thumbs down. He was just joking, but it made me laugh out loud so much!

Oh, and that made me think of one more! I resolve to not make it so blatantly obvious that I am a sentimental, mushy tenderhearted hippie in every single blog post I wrote in 2019. Wait! Can I take that back?!? Just in case, I might make that my 2020 New Year's resolution…but I make no promises.

The Hostwinds Team Resolves to Give You Our All & More

Ooo, ooo, the heading above just reminded me of one more New Year's resolution: I resolve not to create headings so long that they essentially say all I was going to say in the paragraph that follows them. Wow, that's a good one if I do say so myself. I joke! Time to get serious for a second: Here at Hostwinds, we resolve to be there for you this year even more than we were last year. We resolve to improve all that we offer you and to exceed your expectations in every capacity. We resolve to advance, innovate, and move forward with your success in mind.

Written by Hostwinds Team  /  January 5, 2019